• Octavio Cesar Martinez

Do This and Be a Better Man

Updated: Feb 18, 2019



Men, flush the toilet.

When you're done using the restroom, flush the toilet

And wash your hands too.


There will be calls to utility companies, online banking stuff, licenses and insurances to get, roommates or neighbors (usually both) and co-workers or bosses (again, usually both) to deal with — but first you manage or mismanage you.


However dear sirs before all that, learn this one important life skill: flushing the toilet and washing your hands.


You think this is a problem just among the lower, less educated classes of men?

Nope.


I’m speaking of my observations while attending a private university where often I was greeted with a little unwanted gift of urine and (mercifully) less frequently, fecal matter.


Why?

Why sirs?

Why would you not flush the toilet?

It is inexcusable and incomprehensible to not flush the toilet.

Do you do this at home?

Do you leave your little charms behind for your mom, your wife, or your roommate to discover?

For the love of all that is holy… flush. the. toilet.


Look, in the end, we’re all animals.

We eat.

We rest.

We poop.

We procreate.

And I can assure you, no one really wants to see you while you're in the midst of some of these activities.

And I can assure you, we don’t want to see your waste.


So if you want to be taken seriously as an adult male, then flush the toilet.

Your major, the amount of units you carry, the money you make, the humanitarian work you’ve done abroad (is that where you lost the skill of flushing?) or how well you smell will not impress anyone if you don’t flush the toilet.


Treat your waste like illegal evidence.

Flush the toilet.

Twice.

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