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Writer's pictureOctavio Cesar Martinez

8 Steps to Touch a Feminine Side




My mother was a strong, Hispanic woman.

Every day she wore lipstick, and perfume.

Every day she would dress.

No t-shirts or tacky pants.

And she smoked in an elegant manner women in the 1960s did.

She had strong opinions about various subjects from religion to politics.

You always knew where you stood with her.


She never saw a conflict between being strong and feminine.

“There’s no such thing as men’s work or women’s work, just work that has to be done” my mother would say.

She taught me to cook, iron, sew and knit.

She was my first art teacher, taking me to museums to read art by standing me in front of pieces or installations and asking, “Tavo, what do you see?”


She paid for piano, tap and ballet lessons.

For my birthdays, I was taken to live performances at the Music Center in Los Angeles.

Because of her, I love art, music, clothes [men’s and women’s] and comedy.

Because of her, I learned to enjoy cleaning, laundry and ironing.


Now gentlemen, if you plan to touch a feminine side, you must get in touch with your feminine side Here are some ideas in no particular order.

  • Learn to cook. something. anything. A signature meal that you become known for.

  • Learn about art. Go to a museum, take the pre-recorded tours, join a docent-led group. You’ll enjoy art in a new wonderful way.

  • Learn to clean your home [become familiar with home cleaning products].

  • Learn to maintain your clothing.

  • Learn to maintain your body [have a distinctive scent, but nothing from CVS, Rite-Aid, TARGET or any supermarket — looking at you AXE].

  • Learn to enjoy [or at least endure] opera, musicals, symphonies and classical music in general.

  • Learn how to order and arrange flowers.

  • Learn to order wine and open champagne bottles [pass the saber please].

What appears effete is often the way to get in touch with your feminine side.

And touch feminine sides.


You’re welcome.

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